Listening to: Spanish Flea – Tijuana Brass
This past Friday was Geek Life’s D&D One-Shot Night, and I can confidently say that it did not disappoint. I worked with four first-time players, moving through every step of the process from character creation to the concept of the adventure. In the end, we settled on a mix of intrigue and fighting. The party’s objective was to save the city of Maldien from an enemy agent named Michalis Iceheart.
My players were four of Geek Life’s newer members; a guy and three girls, and together they formed a balanced party of a fighter, rogue, sorcerer, and cleric. The participants were as follows:
Arcturus, an Amaranthine (worshiper of the Goddess of Love and Beauty) sorceress with a flair for style and a tendency to use her naturally high Charisma and maxed ranks in the Bluff skill to flirt with as many NPCs as possible.
Lothiriel, an elf fighter who specializes in archery. She is also pretty outspoken about swinging both ways, making her the worst wingman ever.
Kevros, a human rogue who’s only in it for the money. He used to be from a noble family, but his taste for adventure led him to leave home and strike out under an assumed name.
Elena, a bookish Cleric of Sophia who volunteered to join the Allied forces in order to support her country and her religion. Seems to have a bit of a crush on Arcturus, judging by the dialogue between the players.
Together, these four intrepid adventurers form a team to hunt down Iceheart and bring him to justice. Their quest takes them through every part of the city. Assigned by Inquisition Commander Renault to find evidence against this Bellorian officer, they split up to canvas the city. At a tavern called the Lion’s Fang, Arcturus turns on the charm and convinces a few young citizens of the city that she sympathizes with their cause to rebel against the Alliance. Of course, her insistence on ordering an entire leg of mutton belies her rather delicate appearance. Meanwhile, on the other side of the city, Kevros and Lothiriel go to the seedy establishment known as the Dancing Flame. Kevros’s failure to flirt with a waitress named Sasha is capitalized upon by Lothiriel, who hooks up with her instead.
The party heads over to the Paragon’s Shield, a known watering hole for enemy sympathizers. Arcturus bluffs her way in with Elena, while Kevros attempts to sneak in through the kitchen. His mistakes eventually lead to a pile of bodies–two unconscious, one dead–piled up on the kitchen rubbish heap, and mounting suspicions inside. When Iceheart himself arrives, all hell breaks loose, and in the ensuing chaos, the tavern burns down. The party manages to take Iceheart alive, though Arcturus is nearly killed by him first, but they manage to smuggle him into a chapel across the street where they hide out for the night.
In the morning, when Inquisition forces arrive to investigate the scene of the fire and clean up, Arcturus pretends to be hung over in order to convince the pretty lieutenant, another Amaranthine, to call a cart for her and her friends. While she flirts with the lieutenant, the rest of the party (in a scene that wouldn’t be out of place in a sitcom) shoves the unconscious Iceheart into the back of the cart while the lieutenant’s back is turned. After delivering him to Commander Renault (and, as a bonus, exposing her adjutant as a traitor), they collect their reward and all’s well that ends well.
What follows is a collection of quotes from the session, taken out of context. Caution: these quotes definitely veer to the PG-13 side of things. I suppose that’s just what happens when a bunch of college students play tabletop games together…